The Aluminum Monster

This is the kind of relationship advice I get from Dave.

Dave- I just dont like to count my chickens before they hatch.

Jessica- Nerd.

Dave- Haha, I made myself laugh typing that.

Jessica- Your chickens are always hatching though, that’s the thing. How doo you do it? More importantly, how do I do it?

Dave- Give 100% more blowjobs. A little inside secret, guys like getting blowjobs.

Jessica- First of all, that’s not even possible. Second of all, you give the worst advice ever. That’s all it ever is with you, “give more blowjobs.”

Dave- I think that’s just because I wish I got more blowjobs.

Jessica- Obvioulsy.

Dave- So if I tell enough girls that, eventually it will come back around.

Jessica-I hate your guts.